The X-Files took us on some pretty spectacular journeys. We crossed the country and the planet, in search of truth and light, with two incredible people. And with the incredible work you all did on the show, it’s almost like being there. It’s almost like you’re standing next to Mulder, hearing the trigger click in “Pusher”, or feeling the cold breeze of the FTF ice cave.
At this stage, we almost feel that Mulder and Scully are our family. We’ve watched them struggle and grow. We cheered their victories and grieved their losses. So with that being said, WHY THE HELL AREN’T THEY REAL?! How could you give us such beautiful people only to have our hopes dashed when our mothers explained to us that “They’re not actually real, honey. Now go brush your teeth.”? Now for the record, our teeth were already brushed, but for the love of all things holy, how could Mulder and Scully not be real?
Do the halogens not react with pretty much anything? Do earth-bound terrestrials not need diatomic oxygen? Do protons not attract electrons? Did Plato and Aristotle not debate in the School of Athens? Does Mulder not put the “I” in “FBI”? Did Anselm not say that perfect things must exist? Mulder and Scully are perfect; they simply must be real! And frankly, we need to meet them, but how can two mere fangirls make this impossible dream a reality?
Luckily, we’ve found a solution to this problem. We remember that we told you we’d make awesome extras, but we have a better idea. There is a way for us to meet Mulder and Scully: Just give us each one line in XF3. THEN WE CAN TALK TO MULDER AND SCULLY, and help them save the human race. Problem solved. For us. And the human race. It’s a win-win. Plus, when we marry Canadians to get affordable health care, we’ll become residents and SAG rules won’t apply. So we can just trip and say a line while the camera happens to be filming. It’ll be fine, and in the words of Gillian Anderson, “I’d do it for free.” And, in the words of Jessa and Roi, “We’ll pay you to let us do this.”
So come on, Frank! Pick up that phone and make it happen!
Jessa & Roi